To be honest.
That’s always a great way to start out any communication with another human being who deserves your transparency, your vulnerability and your truth, no?
To be honest, before COVID-19, I had very little issue maintaining an uncommonly lean physique.
You want to know why?
Yes, I had spent years researching the most effective workouts, the highest thermic effect of specific foods, etc. and incorporated all of this into my routine. But, I was no longer actively thinking about it. All of these changes had been introduced over time and were on “auto pilot” as things I “just did” that led to results I “just had”.
I forgot the specifics of my SYSTEM that led to the “auto pilot” effect.
I had other goals that were motivating me throughout the day which only made it easier to let my fitness system run in the background while I had a life full of other pursuits.
I had sweet pockets in my day and non-food routines like walking to the corner store on my lunch break, commuting to work while singing at the top of my lungs to get hype for the day, stopping in to chat with a co-worker, carefully packing my lunch for the next day with a portion that was perfectly adequate as long as I had other things to invest my time and energy in throughout the day.
Joy.
I had sources of joyful moments in my life OTHER than the endorphins released during eating.
Goals.
I had other non-food, non-exercise goals in my life OTHER than shoveling down all of the chicken I meal-prepped the day prior.
Abundance.
I had an awareness that there was “more where that came from” RATHER than a subconscious scarcity mentality that it’s only a matter of time before it’s taken away.
Movement.
I had reasons to move that didn’t require thinking or planning RATHER than a permanent position at my desk in my work-from-home day in and day out routine.
Variety.
Every day was a little bit different as the nuances of traffic variances, office jokes, laughter, surprise client calls, etc. versus every day blurring into the next.
So, yes. There you have it.
Honesty.
I can be even more honest and say I began to doubt my ability to be disciplined after having so much “think time” during quarantine. What I thought was “innate discipline” were actually very practical things that had shifted.
I no longer passed the gym on my way home from work.
I now had full-time access to my fridge at home.
I moved and now my gym was no longer within walking distance.
I had put on a few pounds and didn’t realize how motivated I was by already having a super lean physique versus needing to get back to that stage.
I realized I no longer wanted to be so one-dimensionally about fitness which would require dialing back from it – something I had no grid for how to do.
Any time a human undergoes change, everything changes. Routines that you had “nailed” actually relied on quite a few criteria that may have felt non-existent.
Example. You may have not been aware that your consistency to go to the gym after work hinged on the fact that you drove past the gym on your way home from work and that you were still in “work” mode during this time.
Your brain ties “cues” to almost everything that we do. And once that “cue” is removed, the whole system needs to be rewired. Rather than beating ourselves up for “losing a discipline”, take some time to write out what made you successful in the past.
Have grace for the variables that got switched around or altogether removed. Be patient with yourself as you adapt to and grow with new processes.
The disciplines didn’t get there overnight.
The new disciplines won’t either. It’s great to be good with change! It’s also okay if you aren’t great with change or if you didn’t really place an appropriate appreciation on how much changed!
Unfair, unexpressed expectation is one of the most common ways people get in their own way. It’s like having a silent judge constantly watching every move you make during a process that knowingly will take 500 days declare “you’re not there yet!” every day in-between.
Well, gee, thanks! It begins to feel like failure on overdrive.
The problem is, our head knows this “judge” is being unreasonable, but our heart still looks to this judge for approval and is crushed at not getting it.
This is why we focus on the SYSTEM rather than the RESULT.
You can’t see the RESULT on day 1, but you can see the SYSTEM on day 1.
Did I eat whole foods which offer less net calories than processed food meaning I consumed less energy? Did I get a brisk walk in? Did I enjoy my day? Did I strength train and feel challenged? Did I get water in and sleep in?
All of these things lead to the result.
And to be honest, all of these things feel great too!
But the “day 500 judge” will never want to talk to you about those things. Which is why you have to be intentional about giving your sole focus to the SYSTEM, finding joy in other places, pursuing other goals, taking stock of what changed and giving yourself some daily grace.
Again, it’s called “daily” for a reason. It needs renewed “on the daily.”